Dreaming Big Series...Or More Like Dreaming True

 

Here I am, back in my happy place (sunshine and a book) and starting a new series: the Dreaming True Series, formally known in my mind as the Dreaming Big Series. What does all of this mean? Well, I'll tell you.

First, if you don't know already, I'm in the middle of a midlife...crisis, awakening, shift? With the big move, my age (rumbling toward 50...eek!), having to build a new community, and eventually having to start a new job, I just need a calibration of sorts. I don't want to throw anything I have away, as I LOVE most of my life, but I need more.

This "needing more" is a calibration of sorts, and it is what is bringing about this new series. I have a ton of trips this spring, so in an effort to savor and memorialize all these trips, I'm turning back to this blog to what I know best: writing it all down.

That said, here is what I need in this phase of my life: I need to be in nature in all of its forms; I need to find a community that prioritizes giving back; I need to give back more; I need to live more purposefully and intentionally; I need to be around people who are doing the same and who are, as Brené Brown says, in the arena and fighting for an authentic, purposeful life; I need more freedom to be me; I need to be at a job where social equality is a part of the fabric not something we just "do"; I need to surround myself with people who feed my soul and are on the same journey as myself--otherwise, I'm not interested; I need to pursue creative things and avoid things that sap my spirit; I need freedom--out in the world and within me.

So, what I've written about is what dreaming true means to me and what I hope to cover these next few months. Thanks, as always, for reading along and for sending me your positive energy in every way it comes forward.

16, 674 Days

 Is how many days my dad lived, and this is how many days old I am today. 16, 674 days. The average lifespan is 29,000 days, so he lived a few thousand past half. 

For those who don't know the story, here is what happened: my dad had a fishing boat. This boat was for sale, but no one was biting (hah!). So, because the school year was supposed to start--dad was a first grade teacher--he decided to take the boat out for one more spin. Why not? It was a beautiful, sunny day in SW Florida.

Except, as most Floridians know, a beautiful, sunny day can quickly turn into a stormy day when it's the middle of summer. And that's what happened. A typical Florida summer rainstorm moved in, and then the Coast Guard found his boat. I answered the phone, and passed it on to my mother. "Is he with you?" asked the Coast Guard. No. So they began to search for him. Then, as Fox Four News likes to do, a blast of breaking news: white male, around 40, found floating in the Harbor. 

I found this out by a scream from my mother, and the rest is history. It was a before-and-after moment, and the moment has never left me. It shaped pretty much everything in my life for the immediate decade after (I was 16), and I have spent the next, almost 30, decades unraveling from it all. Healing from it all. 

But, revealing the horrors of that day and the decade to follow is not the point of this blog entry. The point is to honor him. I still feel as if I'm discovering who I am; I feel as if I'm awakening from a long winter slumber, and I don't know where I've been for the past 30 years. So, my goal today--and for the days to come--is to honor, to live, and to laugh. 

My life is a blessing, and it could be taken away at any moment. My boys are a blessing, and they could be taken away at any moment. So I breathe it in, especially Sila. His head smells like nothing else in this world, and I hope to be able to smell it for the rest of my life. 

(1996 is pre-internet time, so I have zero pictures of dad online. So, I'm posting a picture of me to remind me that I am alive--fully).

Stop #8: Eastern Sierras

 

This little lady above (not the photo bomber, but the one I'm next to) is an OG. If you don't know what OG means, I'll enlighten you: original gangsta. Is she a literal gangster? No, of course not. She's the Lady of the Lake (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_of_the_Lake) of the great Lake Dunmore, VT. Basically, we met her and her family (shout out to Lloyd, Grant, and Hazel) up in Vermont many moons ago when our kids were little and we spent our summers talking books and raising kids on the lake.

Anyway, Sarah is one of those people who will say "yes," and thankfully she said "yes" to coming on a Sierra Club Adventure with me. This was a week of base camping and then day hiking in the Eastern Sierras, and it.was.epic. I have never spent time in the Eastern Sierras, and boy are they impressive. I wanted amazing nature to round out my summer (and year), and I totally got it. On a side note, if you want an organized group to do some epic hiking/adventures with, I HIGHLY recommend the Sierra Club (https://content.sierraclub.org/outings/).

After setting up camp and modeling for fun pictures, we tackled the realities of staying/living outdoors (cooking, eating, bugs, temperature). Sarah, being the ever-open "yes" person that she is, shed her Brooklyn skin and experienced her first really, really cold night camping. We all froze, but thankfully Sierra Club leaders (in fact, the one photo bombing us in the first picture) come with extras, so Sarah got warm and we adventured on.

Really, the week is hard to capture without going through all the details, but I know too much about writing to do that to you all. So, I'll sum it up: we hiked three days (and I hiked an additional bonus day with a leader at the end), kayaked one day, bathed in the river you can see by my tent, and even visited a hot springs in the afternoon. It was glorious and filled with people who think spending time like this is worthwhile. How could you go wrong? Nature+amazing humans=joy.

So, enjoy the pictures, and if it inspires you to do some things in nature, my job is done!

Oh, my list! Because I had the opportunity to basically turn off my phone all week, I really didn't write anything down. I do know, though, that what I already thought I needed was indeed true, and I only want more of it:

• I love organized activities, even if it's not the most cost effective
• I love being in nature, and the US has some really epic nature
• People who use their powers for good are my heroes, and this applies to so many people who were on this trip 
• I must do this again next summer (anyone want to join?)

Stop #7: Bahamas!

 

This pretty lady right there is my SILF...don't be dirty: it's sister-in-law-forever (but also a fun acronym for two hot chiquitas), and through a series of fortunate events, she and I are now family. She's the mom of Sila's only cousin (on Conan's side), and I feel as if I hit the SILF jackpot. Not only is she cool as AF, but she also is, like, family--which is a pretty foreign concept to me since supportive family is not really something I'm familiar with!

Anyway, thankfully due to a switching of jobs, Jen was able to take a little mid-week Margaritaville cruise with me, and we had SO MUCH FUN. It was only 48 hours, but if you only sleep about 10 hours that whole time, 48 can feel like a lifetime.

This cruise was delightful and only $190 (including port fees and taxes). I would highly recommend it. Thankfully it was not a condensed pool of middle-aged, white Parrot heads (no offense but let's be honest as to who actually likes Jimmy Buffet), but a really diverse mix of people (which you know I love--see previous blogs). What that means for a cruise like this? Well, latin dance hour, hip-hop dance offs, and everything in between. Also, thankfully, there was very little Jimmy Buffet music, which I appreciated. Instead, there was a whole bunch of fun.

Determined to get the most out of the cruise, Jen and I soaked up rays on the pool deck the first afternoon, enjoyed some cocktails, witnessed some insane competition games, ate some free food (which we almost missed all of it due to just relaxing and not thinking about food!), and then danced our hearts out until 1:30 a.m. And if you know me, you know how much I LOVE dancing, especially to hip-hop. It was magical.

The next day, we got up far too early then we should have because we were at port and had booked the party boat for the day in the Bahamas. That entailed snorkeling, endless cocktails (really just fruit juice with a splash of alcohol), Bahamian "lunch" (rice and peas, chicken), and some relaxing on a beach. At the end of that, we repeated our previous afternoon with sunning on the pool deck, eating some food, and trying to stay up late (but didn't succeed).

Really, what I took away from this trip is how much I appreciate having Jen in my life, knowing she is a fun person to hang with and knowing she is there for me (and us as a family) when unforeseen events happen (like when my Cincinnati flight got cancelled, and she picked back up Sila for another night and for the last day of school!). Jen also has a great philosophy in her life: focus on the positive and manifest the shit out of what she wants. I like that, and even though I like to think I'm a positive person, she made me realize some of the small things I put out there that are the opposite of positive.

So there you go. Another amazing adventure--three smaller adventures (but one put-together type trip) are left. Thanks for continually reading, if you are. 

Stop #6: The BHam

 

Those backs of heads right there are some of the Griffins' favorite people: Brad (aka, Marcus Aurelius) and Kathleen (aka, KBubs). They live in Birmingham, AL, and we might have visited them as many times as I've seen Steel Pulse (hah! maybe not, but we try to swing up there as much as possible because they're awesome).

Anyway, I went to BHam because KBubs couldn't come to Atlanta to see the show with me and party in the Hotlanta. So, when KBubs can't come, I go to her. What followed was a list of many amusement rides in the place I like to call Busbee-land:

1) Catching up on a one hour drive to pick up one of their daughters

2) Hanging with their four kids and multiple friends who happen to be over

3) Avoiding getting farted on by Gus, the dog 

4) Avoiding stepping on their other pets: another dog, a cat, a turtle, and probably at least two other pets I don't know about

5) Driving around town to see the sights and having dinner with Marcus Aurelius and KBubs

6) Sneaking into a show that we didn't have tickets for

7) Being the adult driver in the passenger seat as one of their teens practices driving around the neighborhood

8) Visiting with some of their many friends around town (special shout out to Phil and Elizabeth who were SO welcoming and even made a sign for when we arrived for cocktails. What a brilliant, welcoming idea!)

9) Going shopping at Plato's Closet

10) Being so hungry that we wait 20 minutes for hotdogs at Costco

11) Being unable to then shop at Costco because for some reason they close at 6 on Saturdays

12) Going elsewhere to get food for dinners

13) Walking 5 miles for exercise

I'm sure I didn't hit it all, but Busbee-land is always a great time. Really. It's so unlike our home life, which is what I love and appreciate so much. They show me that families look different, but at the root is love. How could you go wrong? 

Not much made my list of take-aways, but that's probably because I was too busy laughing and having fun. I do know KBubs ranks #1 as the most welcoming person in this Universe, and it's a place I strive to be in this world. She shows me that you don't have to have everything in order to invite people into your life. You just invite, and let them come along for the ride. 

Oh, and look at one of the pictures of Sila at camp--isn't he so pretty??

Stop #5: Hot-lanta

 

For those who know me, you know that I love some solo time. Going out to dinner by myself? Hell, yeah! Movie? Bring it! Show? Absolutely. 

Well, the last one was what brought me to Atlanta (lovingly known as Hot-lanta to me) on a quick, overnight solo adventure. This wasn't planned (my most-favorite person in the world--other than my husband and son, of course--Kathleen was supposed to come, too), but did I have a good time? You betcha.

So, my adventures brought me to the area of Little Five Points in Hotlanta to see a band I've seen over 30 times: Steel Pulse. Thankfully, a last-minute find led me to a very cute room in a house owned by a young couple renovating an old home. This stay was only a little over a half-a-mile away from the venue, so I was set. I arrived, napped (because y'all, I'm old and going to a show takes it out of me), put on my compression stockings under my jeans (varicose veins are something fierce), and made my way for a solo beer and the show. 

Walking to the show reminded me how much I LOVE cities. Since this is my blog, I'm going to say it: I love the diversity and inclusion of cities (gasp, DeSantis!). I love seeing people of different backgrounds, I love interacting with people of different backgrounds, and I love seeing signs in people's yards that aren't "Fuck your Feelings," which Florida is so keen towards. Anyways, see some pictures below to see what I mean.

At the show, Steel Pulse brought it, with an hour-and-a-half of racially conscious and uplifting music. If you don't know them, check them out--they used to play with Bob Marley! Anyway, the show was great. I stood in the pit, made friends, danced, and sang my heart out. Was it worth it? Heck ya!

Since I was solo, I didn't have much that was added to my list other than what I already know: music and dancing moves my soul, as does being in places that open my mind. 

Oh, and fun sighting: I was in a cool restaurant co-op type place (Krog Street Market) for my next-morning coffee and pastry, and as I was sitting there, two men and a lady were talking at the long table I was at and a mom and her son came up to ask to take a picture with the two men. I had no clue who they were, but then I heard Stranger Things, so I did a quick Google search: I was sitting next to the Duffer brothers! Now, to you, that might be exciting. To me, I haven't seen the series, but I thought you might care.

Next stop: Birmingham, AL. Keep weird, people!

Stop #4: Portland, ME

 

For those who don't know the story, here it is: Sila's normal camp cancelled about six weeks before it was supposed to start. Now this is not your run-of-the-mill camp, where crazy individuals decide that running an overnight camp would be a good idea and decide to do it. No, Sila's camp (Mondamin, which he has attended for two years...maybe three?) is an all-boys, non-denominational camp that's been around for over one-hundred years! And you want to know why they cancelled? Damn college kids (said with love in my hearts because I teach college). No, not really...I guess. Basically they had to cancel because they didn't have enough staff to run it. See what I mean--damn college kids (and all they're parents who don't want their kids to work in the summer; PSA: your 18-22 working during the summer and the school year is a good thing. They're only going to do drugs and get into trouble at your house.)!

Where does that leave the Griffins, then? Well, scrambling to find a replacement. Little did I know, there are people who get paid to do this research! Sheesh. Sila's camp buddy's mom, who lives in Manhattan and presumably has more money than we do (not hard), hired a "camp finder" person to do what I did--for FREE. Anyway, at the end of the day, we picked a new camp for the year: Camp Kawanhee. This fabulously expensive new camp is in upstate Maine, so guess who had to get Sila there? Me! But, I am not on pick-up duty, so there's that.

Okay, camp. It's fancy; it's smancy. And it's far from SW Florida--like maybe the farthest you can get. So after a flight from Asheville to LGA, we landed in Portland, ME, just in time to spend $17 for parking (for two hours!) and $170 dollars for a room in a house. Read that sentence again. $170 in Morocco could have gotten us 5 nights accommodation. Anyway, after a dinner with Sila's camp buddy and folks (bless them; they paid), Sila and I took off for his camp. Only a short two-hour drive, and we're there. Pictures are below, and I think Sila's happy. Apparently, though, he didn't shower or brush his teeth for the first two days because he didn't unpack his bag. Y'all, again, pre-teen brain is real.

After an awkward and forceful exit from camp (by my son), I was then free!!!! It's been a long year with the boy. As usual, though, I have a friend where I'm at--Clare Bear Extraordinaire!! I met this wise, old soul in Kripalu last year, and we've stayed in contact ever since. Not only that, we've managed to have really deep back-and-forth email correspondences all year, exploring our own growth as humans and encouraging the other to do the same. It's pretty special, and I'm glad I got to see her.

Clare actually lives in NH, but her son goes to school in South Portland, so Clare made the drive down to show me some craggy beaches (my request) and some new spots in Portland. We had a fabulous time, and not only did I see lighthouses, but I saw a legit beach! Really. I didn't think it existed up in Maine (being a Floridian and all), but Clare insisted there was a real beach in Portland. I was wrong; she was right.

Don't you just love the picture above? I left my sunglasses in NC because I thought "there is no way I'll need them in Maine!" Boy was I wrong...for one day. After Clare headed back, I had one more full day to walk around--in all-day rain and cold. But, I did it. I meandered down by the docks to see some young lads on boats in just overalls, chatting over sea creatures, and pretending this was a warm summer day; I also did a bit of shopping and met a couple from Tampa who invited me to dinner. We ate at a Thai place and ended up in a brewery. Kind of apropos to my life. 

So here goes--you got a lot of the things I did already, so I'll write about what I took away from all of this: 

1. I love my solo time, and I feel I'm moving into balancing this all very nicely.
2. Clare and I talked about this, as well, and she had good insight (as always) to share: when in moments alone, check in, address how I'm feeling, act accordingly, and then move on to something new.
3. Portland yoga spaces are rad, and yoga--in general--makes me feel so good.
4. I want to create a yoga space (again) in my house.

There you go, folks! This list might not be profound, but it's a good one! Stay tuned for the next leg of my journey: Atlanta and Birmingham.