What's Been Going On?

I was having a conversation recently (via FaceBook messaging) with a friend, and she said something interesting: (I'm paraphrasing) "I'm amazing on FaceBook but in real life I'm having a tough time." I love this because it's so true. I don't post status updates on FaceBook for this reason. Life is hard. There are ups and downs, and well, I'm in a down one now.

Before I begin, yes, life is amazing. I am able to manage taking a year off of work to travel, spend time with my family, and do/see some amazing stuff. Don't get me wrong.

But the other side of all of this? I've been sick--really sick--for the last three weeks. Darn Cambodian bacteria. And I've suffered from vertigo the last five days. And Conan has had a sore throat for the last three weeks and just can't get his energy up. And Sila has one never-ending cold. And we're all homesick. And we all want to go home.

But we are tackling each day as exactly that: a new day. We have goals, and we aim to complete them. We have a little over 2 weeks left here in Phnom Penh, and our new plan (if you don't know this already, well, Conan and I always have a plan, but it always changes) is to ditch the bikes (too much work) and just bus/train to amazing beaches and sites in Vietnam. We feel this is exactly what we need. Sunshine, crystal clear water, and new adventures.

So if you're stuck in a rut, maybe think about what you can do differently. How can you shift your perspective, while still being honest with yourself? Honesty is okay. It's okay to feel like crap and look like crap and eat crap (sometimes) because that's life. Life is good but oftentimes messy.

If I haven't depressed you, sorry. I didn't mean to.

One another note, take a look at some pictures I have below. The pictures of tents are when we had a massive funeral on our street, pretty much in front of our house. I thought it was a wedding (who knew karaoke was a part of both weddings and funerals?), but our neighbor said it was a funeral. Regardless, I'm glad it appeared because it will be one of the things I miss most about Cambodia. It's exciting. The street shuts down (have mercy!), there is music (which isn't really a part of Cambodian culture), and sleeplessness as people wail into a microphone (singing or praying) until all hours of the night. Ah, Cambodia. How I love you so.

 

 

Ear Aches, My Birthday, and Book Reviews

I am now on day 8 of having ear issues. I got a cold/sore throat late last week, and all was fine until an ear ache popped up in one ear. I haven't had one of these since being a child, and I'll tell you what: it hurts. A lot.

After one day of an ear ache in my left ear, the illness switched to my other ear. Now, while pain is gone, I have a persistent ringing (is the ringing always there and I just can't hear it?) and constant blocking of my hearing. I'm trying everything to drain the liquid, but no luck yet.

The other exciting news (as if my ear aches are exciting) is that it was my birthday this past week. 34. Wow. 10 years ago I was married to someone different, had only completed my AA degree, and was about to experience a pretty difficult year ahead. Now a decade later, I'm married to someone new, have a child, hold a Master's degree (and am currently applying to pursue a second one), and am living in Cambodia. How times fly and change.

It was a bit hard to truly enjoy my birthday due to my ear issues, so I'm trying to make the best of it now and move forward positively in my 35 year of life. Next year, though, I'm going to blow it out of the water for my 35th.

Lastly, book reviews. I realize this might not be something you care too much about, but I'm doing it more for me than anyone else. I also read something about how long book reviews can discourage someone from reading a book, so I'm going to keep it short to avoid that. There is never any harm in reading a book, good or bad.

• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath: this was the first time I have read anything by her, and I have to say I enjoyed it. It was, however, a bit dark. Basically this book details the protagonist's struggle with the outside world, her sexuality, and her deep inner thoughts. A well-written and good read but don't expect the sun to shine too brightly within it.
• Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris. Honestly, I didn't really get this book. I picked up the sexual identity struggle, family dynamics, and life exploration aspects of it all, but I really couldn't make sense of it as a whole. To me, this book was a rambling narrative about life. I have, although, listened to a NPR segment with Sedaris since reading this book, and I am still intrigued enough to read another one of his books that is on my Kindle. I'll let you know what I think when I am in the mood to pick up another one of his books.
• Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. I was interested to read this after the last two because I miss being in (or at least reading about) nature. This satiated my nature-reading desire. I'm surprised it took me this long to read the book since it's pretty famous. My thoughts on it: so-so. I didn't particularly over enjoy it, but it wasn't bad. Just not life-shifting, if you know what I mean.
• Catching Fire and Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins. Yes, these are the last two in the Hunger Games Trilogy, and yes, they're meant for teens. Are they a light read? Yes. Full of suspense? Yes. Are they literary? No, but that's why I read them, especially after the above three.

Currently reading, you ask? Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void and rereading A Confederacy of Dunces (one of the most brilliant books ever).

I'll leave with a few pictures from my birthday weekend adventure. Many hugs to you all!

 

 

Living in the Arena

So there is a person (Brene Brown), as well as a book (Daring Greatly), who has been pretty influential to my ever-shaping desire to be living a more authentic, purposeful life.

I've had much thought and discussions about this (the more "authentic, purposeful life"), and what it boils down to is that I just like this shit. It feels real. I don't know how the hell to get it, but I believe it's out there and is attainable.

You might be wondering what the heck I'm talking about, and it refers to what Brene Brown states as being either in or out of the arena. The ones who are living in the arena are the ones who are fighting for a good, authentic life. A life that has meaning and purpose to them. A life that is honest and not falling in line with the politics or sometimes the bad energy of others. These people are pursuing their passions and not feeding the bad in the world (the bad being the mean-ness, critical, vindictive tendencies a human sometimes fall prey to).

I watched a great YouTube clip with Brene Brown and it's on the power of being vulnerable. I loved it, and it speaks so much to the way in which one can live a pretty darn good life: through vulnerability. It's a long one, though, so beware.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd3DYvBGyFs

This clip also brought to mind a specific instance and person at work whom I recognize is afraid to be vulnerable and as a result desperately tries to look into the mirror of someone's (perceived) failure as justification for the actions s/he chooses. The only reason I mention this latter part is because understanding my role at work is a huge part of what I'm trying to figure out recently, and this video brings clarity to my own relationships and place at work and allows me to focus my intentions and actions in more refined ways, and for that, I am grateful.

I'm sure for my next post you might want something a bit more light, so I have one about food that will follow in the week to come. Oh and if you don't know, it's my birthday tomorrow (this should bring more clarity as to why I'm writing about living a more authentic life---nothing like a birthday to get the wheels turning)! Big hugs to you all.

Oh, there is also this cool website I just discovered: The Good Life Project http://www.goodlifeproject.com/

4 Months to Go, Biking Vietnam, and Chicken Pox

So now that it's February 3, we have less than 4 months to go! Yippee. We have been in Cambodia for over 5 months, and we have been here longer than what we have left. Wow.

Our plan is to leave June 1st so that we can spend the summer in the States. Friends all over the U.S.: be prepared for a Griffin visit this coming summer! We won't be heading out, though, until after we've had an epic bicycle trip.

The plan (as of now and of course subject to change) is to leave PP in 6 weeks. How will we leave? By bicycle. Where will we go? To Vietnam. The anticipated route is PP to Ho Chi Minh. Then HCH to Halong Bay. Distance: 2100k. Crazy? Yes. And we're planning on doing it all on a bicycle with nothing more than two baskets, two saddlebags, and one small duffel.

So these next few weeks are busy cramming in our last few weeks of "me" time and getting ready for the trip and packing. Packing excites me most because bags packed here won't be unpacked until we reach good ole' USA!

The only other new thing for us is that Sila had the chicken pox last week. It was a pretty mild case, so he was in good spirits (and driving us crazy) and is back to school this week. Nothing else really going on here except I've been reading like crazy (see new books posted on the right of my blog) and been teaching a lot of yoga.

Big hugs to all who are reading this. Enjoy your winter because we're hot here!