The Love Project Manifesto

So here goes: I don't know much about manifestos, or the "rules" that govern them, and what I do know is through Jerry Maguire (and his rant against the man) and through a brewery called TrimTab, where I initially mocked their quest to change the world through drinking beer--a very American thing, indeed. If you want to check it out, you can here: http://trimtabbrewing.com/about_us/#post-370-title

Anyway, I have wandered. What has sparked me to write this manifesto (and to see it bloom in other areas of my life) is war, specifically war against our fellow man (or woman). As with most wars, I of course learned about it on Facebook. I hate Facebook, but yet get on it. I know; I know. But the other day I got on and saw the most sickening thing yet: people defending our "American-ness" and our rights by weighing in on the Syrian immigrants issue (specifically, bringing them to America). Long story short, I was SHOCKED by the ignorance, hatred, and exclusion I saw. People I was so-called "friends" with were posting petitions to sign, touting our safety was not to be jeopardized by bringing refugees to America. ARE YOU SERIOUS? Did people not learn our American history? Do we not remember how/why the Puritans got here, and do we not remember that we actually weren't here first, and that our country is built on the foundation of immigrants/refugees? Shocking.

Needless to say, that day, I unfriended a few people and vowed never to get on FB again. But, I soon realized, that doesn't make sense. How can I really make a difference if the gazillion people on FB don't see anything different than ignorance or hatred? So I am going about this a different way, and I'm pretty positive it won't make a difference, but I don't care. What I can do amidst this chaos is show love. Love for myself, my relationships, and for all people in this world. And I intend to do just that.

The Love Project

This manifesto is quite simple: focus on the love. With that comes a focus on the positive and on the happiness of each blessed moment we have on this earth. 

I will share my love in different ways, and I will live my life in a way that shapes a positive perspective of and toward my fellow man. If I can show and recognize the multitude of ways that love is present in my everyday life, then maybe I will make a difference. 

Love. Happiness. Peace.

Fear is, Well, a Bitch

Fear is one of those things that just sucks. It stops you in your track and prevents you from moving forward. Sometimes, fear can be a good thing because maybe it stops you from going down that dark alley or going home with that guy.

But most of the time fear sucks.

Here is the fear I'm grappling with: the fear of being tethered somewhere because what I have is "too" good. Can two full-time jobs, a car, a home, and a family all be something that is fearful? I think so.

A friend said over the weekend that it's never good to want to be "happier than happy," but I disagree. Why is happy where we stop? Why can't we be happier than happy? You know why--fear. Fear that happier than happy might not actually be better, so instead, we settle on happy because that's safe.

But is HAPPY enough? Is it okay to be fearful of happy if your intuition tells you "this can't be it"?

Fear can be a motivator as long as you don't get stuck in it. If fearful of the unknown leaves you never seeking anything than the known, then you're stuck.

But fear is good. Fear is a healthy, normal emotion that we all experience. For me, I am currently fearful. I don't know what is out there for me, but I do know that right now, right here is not enough.

So I'm going to face my fear and be vulnerable with it. I'm going to let it creep in, but then I'm going to take it by the balls and shove back. Because I know when fear is around, I can be the boss of it. I get to tell fear when enough is enough, and I get to thank it when it makes me realize that I'm on the right path when I feel it.

Happiness

I've been thinking a lot (okay, slightly obsessed) about happiness. I've had this nagging feeling that there has to be more. Yes, I'm happy: I have a pretty awesome husband, great kid, great job, house, etc. The list goes on. BUT THERE COULD BE MORE.

Is this wrong to think? Desire? I don't think so. I hope not, at least.

I watched Hector and the Search for Happiness last night, and I saw yet another example of the quest for happiness. His list in the movie is the following:

1. Making comparisons can spoil your happiness
2. Happiness often comes when least expected
3. Many people only see happiness in their future
4. Many people think happiness comes from having more power or more money
5. Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story
6. Happiness is a long walk in beautiful, unfamiliar mountains
7. It’s a mistake to think that happiness is the goal
8. Happiness is being with the people you love; unhappiness is being separated from the people you love
9. Happiness is knowing that your family lacks for nothing
10. Happiness is doing a job you love
11. Happiness is having a home and a garden of your own
12. It’s harder to be happy in a country run by bad people
13. Happiness is feeling useful to others
14. Happiness is to be loved for exactly who you are (People are kinder to a child who smiles)
15. Happiness comes when you feel truly alive
16. Happiness is knowing how to celebrate
17. Happiness is caring about the happiness of those you love
18. Happiness is not attaching too much importance to what other people think
19. The sun and the sea make everybody happy
20. Happiness is a certain way of seeing things
21. Rivalry poisons happiness
22. Women care more than men about making others happy
23. Happiness means making sure that those around you are happy

The biggest idea, however, that I took away from this movie (and also relates to the kid's movie Inside Out) is that happiness occurs when all the emotions are in play. When we are feared into action, recognize sadness that is and/or could be, and see the happiness right in front of us. It's the true, authentic living of life that brings about happiness. And that means feeling ALL the emotions that come with it. 

It's the feeling, I think, that's so hard for people. We all have become really good at numbing our feelings and experiences. We take excessive amount of pain pills, change our hormones so we don't have cramps or acne, pull out our phone and technology to "witness" the good, the bad, and the ugly. But do we ever just SIT with what is going on? Not share it, numb it, or anything else? Is this the secret to happiness? Being alive and experiencing everything there is to experience while being alive? I think it might be.

I'm reading a book entitled 10% Happier, by Dan Harris (I told you I'm obsessed with happiness), and so far it's an interesting read. He hasn't talked much about HOW to achieve happiness, but there are snippets here and there. 


One part I loved (and he was referencing someone else) was that he said our demons might have been kicked out of the house, but they are in the parking lot doing push ups. Brilliant. Why? Because it's so true. Our demons are never truly gone. They are always there, waiting to come back into the house if we let them. And I believe we let them by numbing ourselves or by taking the easy way. They are always going to be there unless we keep experiencing life and facing all the emotions we have (and valuing each and every one of them as an important and integral component to happiness). 

So there you go. Happiness and my pursuit of it, which, in a sense, is a fault in itself. I suppose I need to stop pursuing and just start living. Living my true, authentic life and embracing everything that comes with it.

Much love to you. 

A New Project (and Epic Adventure, I suppose)

So hello, again. I'm sure you all know that we're back at home (been so a year now) and for the time being, another Griffin epic adventure is not happening anytime soon.

But I have another new project and epic adventure I want to chronicle. It's the semester of me. Yup. Me.

Let me explain: I read Daniel Pink's Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us last year, and he discusses a brilliant idea. This idea is that autonomy is a crucial component of motivation and happiness, and some of the best businesses (e.g., Google) are employing this concept. Essentially, the concept in a nutshell is that if you give employees autonomy, they will not only thrive but will be happy. Imagine that.

So how does this have to do with me? Well, I'm teaching a class (as I always do) and this class allows me flexibility in what I have students do. So I decided to integrate this idea of "autonomy" into the assignments students need to complete, and this morphed into the "Independent Project." This project allows them to work on anything they want. Yes, anything. But it has to be new and it has to be something the student has wanted to do but never really found the time for.

As an example, I decided to take adult hip-hop classes throughout the semester, and I'm going to chronicle my experiences here and with pictures/videos. But then I got thinking. I want to do more; I want to focus more on me because when I do, I'm happier (and a better person).

So as a result, I've decided to do a semester-long independent project of me. I'm going to run, dance, journal, meditate, be mindful, and write as a way to redirect my life. Don't get me wrong: life is good, but it could be better, and I have all the tools to make it better. I just need to make it a priority.

I'm not going to spread my blog entries to other forms of social media, so if you happen to stumble upon this, good for you. I just figure that the mere possibility of someone stumbling upon my old blog is slim, but it's a possibility that will motivate me to write. And write I will. I will use this space as a way to be creative and to express myself in a different way.

So thanks for reading, and welcome to the project of me.