Western Mentality

It's been awhile since I've written; I know. Orientation for our NGO has begun, and it's been a pretty full schedule. Currently, Conan is off visiting the rural office/location of Conversations with Foreigners (CWF)--the Cambodian Rural Development Team (CRDT). I decided to stay in Phnom Penh to avoid taking Sila out of school (again), but the reward is that I have four full days to myself!

I've named my post "Western Mentality" because this has been on my mind recently. Actually, more of what has been on my mind could be coined "White Man's Burden." I didn't name my post this for multiple reasons: 1) it sounds so privileged; 2) it doesn't capture the purpose of this post, which is to highlight how awkward it can sometimes feel to be so lucky in life.

Now don't get me wrong, I have been doing my fair share of shopping locally, eating locally, and living locally. But the pull of my very privileged (meaning I have never really faced racial discrimination, poverty, or lack of civil rights) life has also tempted me to visit the local grocery market, have a drink at the roof-top bar, and get my feet nibbled on by fish, all while watching a huge percentage of the population struggle on less than $500 a month ($500 is supposed to be a GOOD salary). I feel the weight.

I hope this isn't coming off as "poor me: I'm feeling guilty because I can enjoy the finer things in life, and it weighs on me to see others not able to do so." This isn't what it means. More so, I mean for it to be a moment of gratitude, appreciation, and love for all that I do have.

Another sobering moment was visiting the Tuol Sleng Museum (S-21), which is the Cambodian Genocide Museum. It was shocking and sobering to visit, and realizing that this massacre took place a little less than 35 years ago was saddening. As I walked through room after room, my one overwhelming thought was the following: "I hope more than anything that these people had a moment of joy here; I hope they left this world with a bit of the stuff that really matters." I don't know if this is incredibly superficial and insensitive to think, but it was what I was thinking.

Whew. So here it is. I'll leave with a few pictures of S-21and follow up with another post of more fun images. So if you're reading this, and you're a Westerner (which you probably are because I can't imagine why else you would be following my blog!), love your life. Love your freedoms. Love your people.